


Second Chances

by EdGluskin



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Comforting, Coping, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Paranoia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, later nsfw, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9533912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdGluskin/pseuds/EdGluskin
Summary: [DISCONTINUED] Set after Saw 1. Sort of an AU since Adam is alive in this one. Supposed to be a slow burn, with both characters coping with the trauma of the events that unfolded as well as coming to terms of sexuality and attraction.





	1. Discharged

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by a mentally ill gay trans man + an alter and i'll try to make this as realistic as possible (im basing this on my experiences alone). Feedback is welcome.

Adam had no visitors during his stay in the hospital. Not a soul came to see him, to check up on him, anything. He wasn’t surprised, even in his fogged state as he lay breathing through a mask with his eyes half lidded. He hadn’t spoken to his family in years, the last person he was in contact with being his sister.

He may as well be really dead, because as much as his family was concerned, he was dead to them.

Doctors and nurses checked on him almost constantly. They would poke and prod him with needles and questions, both just as painful as the other. His energy was scarce, and with the slowly healing bullet hole in his shoulder, what energy he had, was used thinking about his injury and his trauma.

He had been in that bathroom for what felt like almost a week. As much as Adam resented Lawrence for what he had done to him, he was grateful for one thing. He saved his fucking life. He promised to be saved, and the doctor came through for him. Someone he barely trusted at the start of the day became his sole savior at the end of it.

The doctors mumbled about how he was almost a lost cause, on the edge of death. They had found him covered in blood and vomit, clinging to the rusted pipes, huddled in the corner, starving and delirious. The staff was all surprised Adam was even making a recovery, albeit slow, at all.

Before Adam knew it, he had opened his eyes again and found himself a week later, still in that hospital bed.

That Saturday evening was warm, with the sun shining brightly into Adam’s room. He was slightly awake at this time, but couldn’t lift his head. He was too weak, but he could enjoy the view from his room at the angle he was laying. He listened to the lulled beeping of his monitors, letting the rhythm lull him into this blissful half-sleep.

No one had visited him during the time he was out and drugged up on pain medication, and he just had to accept that.

He ignored the light clack of heels on the linoleum as a nurse entered to check his vitals. She was humming softly to herself as she leaned next to his bed and took down notes.

“How are you feeling today, Mr. Faulkner?” The nurse rasped in her gruff, yet light, voice. Adam tried focusing on the scratch of her pen instead of her voice, but answered her anyway.

“I have a…hole in my shoulder.” He rasped out, still trying to give off his sarcastic tone. It didn’t make it to the nurse’s ears as a joke, and she sucked in her bottom lip to hold back a sarcastic response. Her brown eyebrows furrowed and she checked on his IV drip to distract herself.

Adam continued to gaze lazily out of the window, and ignored her as she left the room rather quickly. He wasn’t the nicest patient in the hospital, and he remembered hearing a doctor mumble about how difficult he was when they thought he was asleep.

He knew he was difficult; it was a main reason why Adam’s family stopped associating with him in the first place.

He didn’t want to talk, and he didn’t want to see anyone anyway. His mind was on a couple things, regardless of what he tried to drown it out with.

One, was the doctor himself. Lawrence. The other man in the bathroom with him who, in his delirious state, had sawed his own fucking foot off in order to save his family. He felt his throat close up, his mind wandering to the last few moments Adam ever saw him. The feel of skin after so many hours being deprived of it. I guess the saying held meaning: You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

Another, was the long drawn out seconds of him bashing that man’s head in. He had killed someone, and not just with a gunshot or something…but he deliberately brought a hard ceramic object down onto his head. He bashed his brains in until there was nothing left to bash. On purpose. To save Lawrence. After the smarmy bastard had _shot him_.

Adam closed his eyes, letting his brain delve deeper into his memories.

The feeling of hot breath against his face as Lawrence _comforted_ him. The bastard, he wanted to help everyone, even a low life like Adam. The young photographer heard himself gulp, and set his jaw tightly.

Lawrence comforted him right after Adam bashed Zep’s head in. He had delicately stroked Adam’s cheek, pressing a forehead against his, hushing his cries and telling him he was going to be okay. The memory of the contact, of the sentiment, had Adam’s heart rate pic up which prompted the heart monitor to pick up in speed.

Adam’s eyes cracked open a sliver to the machine and he caught himself sneering.

He shouldn’t be getting so worked up over a man he barely knew, of a memory he would rather pretend never existed. He wished he could forget all about what had happened. He just wanted to back to his shitty apartment, back to his old freelance job and shitty attitude. He wish he could go back to his room, where his bed was. He wish he could walk around and forget about the monster in his closet, about the overwhelming fear of the dark and the hidden.

It took a moment for Adam to realize he was lost in thought, and didn’t notice a couple doctors come in to check up on him. His heart monitor was going off the charts, and before Adam could really get a grasp of the situation, he had been sedated.

 

* * *

 

Adam was in hospital care for almost a month. It seemed like an eternity before he was let go and allowed to go back to his apartment.

It was surreal, taking his first few steps into the crisp Spring air. He blinked and looked around, wearily trying to take in his surroundings. His arm was cast in a sling to help heal the wound, and he was scheduled to be back to the hospital in a week for physical therapy. They told him it would take another three weeks to get his arm back to working order.

This was going to be a while.

During his stay at the hospital, Adam was bombarded with questions by doctors, police, and even fellow patients while he grabbed lunch. It was all tiresome, and the young man had to get used to the fact that people were going to see him as a celebrity. A traumatized, tortured celebrity but a celebrity nonetheless.

He hailed a cab, and with the small wad of cash he was given before leaving, he told the driver to take him home.

He felt his head rest against the seat of the cab as the driver headed out into light traffic. That was something that confused Adam. The money…why was it there? He was being discharged and before he knew it one of the orderlies had walked up and handed him an envelope with his name on it, stating it came in the mail for him. He had grabbed the crisp white envelope and glanced down at it, confused to find his name scrawled in clean handwriting.

Opening it he found a note, and about 50$ in cash.

>       **_Adam,_**
> 
> **_I’m glad they found you. And I’m glad you’re alive. We really need to talk. I heard you were in the hospital so I decided to help you out. Don’t worry about your hospital bill. Think of it as an apology for what happened. The rest is for whatever you want._ **
> 
> **_\- L_ **

He knew who the money was from, but he still didn’t understand why. He had fucked Lawrence over, stalked him and photographed him and tried to screw him over with his wife and job. Why was the goody two-shoes (one shoe? he had one foot now) suddenly trying to get on his good side after all of this? And…wanting to catch up?

The thought of seeing Lawrence again had Adam’s stomach in knots. Did he even want to see Dr. Gordon again? What would they say to each other? ‘ _Gee, man, good to see at least one foot is intact’_.

He felt himself lost in thought, and before he knew it he was outside of his apartment, with the taxi driver asking to pay up. Adam gladly payed the toll, and got out of the car, keeping his gaze fixed on his apartment.

He hadn’t seen his shit hole in weeks. He hoped the landlord hadn’t kicked him out and threw his stuff out. Not that his stuff was worth a whole lot of money, but it held some value to him.

He made his way carefully up the stairs, almost distraught by the echoing quiet that seemed to hug him on all sides. He couldn’t have gotten to his door quick enough. Fishing out his keys, he quickly unlocked his front door and rushed a little quickly into the living room, slamming the door behind him only to create some noise in the eerily quiet hallway.

Just as he had left it.

He breathed in the scent of dust and mildew, walking quietly through the main room of his apartment, down the short hallway and into his room. The closet door was left wide open, and it sent a ripple of choking fear through his frame. He walked over, kicking the closet door closed before turning around to take in the dim light of his bedroom.

The police had been there to dust for fingerprints, but it almost looked as if they didn’t even touch the place. Everything was left where it originally was when he ( _was kidnapped_ ) left.

He felt his throat close up tightly with fear as he made his way to the dark room, where he kept his pictures.

Opening the door, he found everything had been taken save for the shelves and his chair. All of his pictures were gone, ripped from the strings and swiped from the desks. He felt his heart sink a little, and he slumped himself down in the chair that was seated in front of the desk. He clicked on his radio and grimaced as it garbled static back at him. The batteries were close to dying.

He put an arm up on the desk and slumped his head forward onto it, groaning into the sleeve of his shirt before lifting his head back up.

That’s when he noticed it. The small corner of a piece of paper wedged into a drawer. He bit at his lip, slowly grabbing the corner of the paper and pulling it out.

It was a picture of Lawrence, quietly sipping at a starbucks drink, and it caught Adam off guard. This wasn’t where he had left it, and his stomach was making pained flip flops in his body as he looked around wearily. He half suspected the bastard Zep to still be in his room. Or worse. The man from the bathroom.

Looking back at the picture, he half mindedly flipped it over to the back. And that’s when he saw it. Scribbled in the same handwriting as the note he received that same day at the hospital, where the words:

>             **_West L.A Library. 7:00 pm._**

His breath was caught in his throat, and he half the mind to crumple the picture up and toss it away…but something in his brain told him not to. It told him to stick that sucker into his pocket and meet up with the stranger (Lawrence. It was Lawrence) at 7 like the message said.

Fighting against his urge to ignore the message and sulk in his apartment like the waste he was, he slipped the picture into his pocket and turned swiftly on his heel toward the front door. It was getting close to 6:30, and if he wanted to make the meet up he had to hurry. This could be a trap, for all he knew, but he didn’t want to believe that.

He stopped by the front door, glancing back behind him to the empty apartment he had just entered for a second before grunting and locking the door behind him as he made his way to the library across town. Everything in his brain screamed for him to ignore the message and pretend he never saw it, but Adam never listened to reason. He was stubborn like that.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam finally catches up with Lawrence

Adam made it to the library with 10 minutes to spare. His body was trembling with anxiety, and he tried to distract himself by skimming his fingers over the spines of the books he passed. He barely gave the books any thought, because his eyes were darting from corner to corner, looking for the blonde doctor.

He was chewing on his lip anxiously, and his heart was fluttering like crazy. Part of him wanted to see Lawrence again, to grab onto him and hug him and never let him go, while another part of him feared seeing his face. Of being reminded of the trauma and torture they both went through.

As the young photographer contemplated what to do in this vexing predicament, he felt someone come into the aisle he was in and cough gently. He spun around, half expecting it to be Lawrence himself, but instead met the friendly gaze of a staff member of the library.

He let out a worried breath and smile before taking his fingers off of the spine of one of the books.

“Do you need any help finding anything, sir?” She asked, hands behind her back in a curt fashion. Her brown, frizzy-curly hair was pulled into a tight bun, and her glasses were rectangle and pushed up as far as they could go. She was wearing a nice button up and jean pants with purple flats. Freckles dotted her face, and her eyes shone a warm brown hue. She looked extremely friendly, but Adam’s heart was racing and he felt himself almost curl in on himself mentally.

“Uh…Oh uh no. No thank you. I was just…looking around.” He said softly, his head moving back to the shelf of books as he idly skimmed through the names. He felt her stand there a little bit more, before nodding curtly and turning on her heel.

Adam felt himself let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and let his shoulders slouch from their previous tightly wound position. God. If he acted like that around everyday people, how was he going to be when he saw--

Lawrence caught his line of sight. The doctor was sitting down at the one of the tables down at the other side of the room, book in hand. Lawrence wasn’t even reading the book in his hands, just idly flipping through the pages as he waited for Adam.

He…actually showed up. Adam could feel his heart flip in his chest, and he forgot how his legs worked as he tried with all of his might to take one foot in front of the other.

It seemed like an eternity before he walked up to the doctor (friend? Was he a friend?), and coughed to make his presence known. He caught the blonde’s eye, and time seemed to stand still for both of them.

The doctor immediately tried to get up, grabbing for his cane and leaning on it as he outstretched his hand and awkwardly stood there as Adam tried to get his bearings. He was here. He…he really made it. And the dork wanted to just shake his hands? Like a formal fucking greeting? Like the two didn’t just escape death not a month ago?

The younger man grimaced and smacked his hand away. Before Lawrence had a chance to react to the action, Adam had wrapped both of his arms around the doctor’s waist and pulled him into a warm hug. To say Lawrence was caught off guard was an understatement. He felt his cane clack to the floor as Adam practically lifted the older man up into the air with the strength of his hug. That whole month of recovering at the hospital fucking payed off.

The doctor couldn’t help but let out a laugh, grabbing onto Adam’s shoulders for leverage as he was hugged tightly. He wasn’t surprised. He was glad to see Adam too, and the hug was something he actually…really enjoyed and honestly needed.

“I missed you, dumbass.” Adam murmured against the fabric of Lawrence’s button up. God, the idiot, always wearing something nice even on casual days like this. It made him feel, again, underdressed and almost grungy.

“I missed you too.” Lawrence chuckled softly, breath ghosting against the top of Adam’s head. It earned a shiver from the younger man, but Adam suppressed it by letting go of Lawrence from his tight embrace.

His cheeks were flushed pink from the intimacy, but he tried to pass it off as being pink from running up to him. He fixed his already unruly hair and glanced up at Lawrence as the doctor fixed his posture and got his cane back up by his side. It was…so nice seeing him, even after all of this time…it was like meeting with an old friend after years of not seeing him.

“So I’m guessing you got my note and this isn’t just a chance encounter.” Lawrence said calmly, his voice gruff and almost comforting. Adam laughed and nodded his head, scratching the back of his head absently. It wasn’t that he was shy to see Lawrence again he just…was…

The doctor set his book down onto the table and idly pointed over to one of the aisles absently. “Want to walk? I told my therapist I would practice on my walk with this cane anyway.” He said light heartedly, using his cane to take a couple steps in front of Adam.

The younger joined him, walking slowly as to not get ahead of Lawrence and make him feel bad for being slower than him. What would they talk about? The silence was palpable, thick, awkward. Adam felt as if he could reach out, grab the thick silence, and mold it into something if he tried hard enough.

“So. How’s…how’s it been since I…uh…last saw you?” Adam asked softly, working his shoulder in the sling he had.

Lawrence smiled to himself, glancing down at Adam for a brief second before looking forward again. “I’m getting divorced.” He said simply, and that left Adam in slight shock. What? Divorce? After all of the shit Lawrence had went through? Alison was just going to up and leave him like that?

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but the doctor’s hand came up to silence up. He grunted as he kept limping against his cane. “No. I know what you might say and let me just be clear. Alison and I had a mutual agreement to split. After my infidelity, and the trauma we both went through, we decided to call it quits. She needed some time for her, to get better, and I needed some space. I…changed since the bathroom, and I understand why she needed to get away from me.”

Adam grew quiet, his mouth closing slowly before he looked down at his feet. Lawrence was right. He was right, but for fuck’s sake Lawrence didn’t deserve to be left alone like this. Like…like he was alone. He gulped down a lump in his throat before he turned back to the doctor and tried to give him a smile. “Well, you aren’t alone Larry. You got me, whether you like it or not.”

The attempt at lightening the mood worked, and Adam felt his heart flutter slightly as Lawrence let out a half smile. They stopped at the front door, and the photographer was surprised to find that they had even made it to the front of the library without his knowledge. Then again, he had never been around here before and he was just as lost as he thought he was.

“Listen. I don’t have a lot I’m doing today. The hospital doesn’t need me back for a few weeks. If you want we can go around town a bit and just…talk?” Lawrence asked, glancing down at Adam as they exited the library. Adam felt his cheeks flushed and he shrugged a little as they walked slowly down the sidewalk toward the parking garage set across the street from the library.

“I wouldn’t mind. Though…there was something I wanted to ask you, Larry.” Adam said, glancing up and squinting through the sunlight that blinded his vision. He felt Lawrence stop next to him.

After not receiving a response from the older man, Adam continued with his question, shyly looking down at his tennis shoes. “That…that thing you did for me. The hospital bill…you didn’t have to do that, you know.”

Lawrence raised his hand again, an honest smile gracing his lips as he shook his head. “No. Don’t even thank me. It was the least I could do. I shot you, for god’s sake, Adam.” Adam felt himself almost flinch with guilt, and he glanced up at Lawrence for a second before shoving his hands in his pockets and passively looking around while he thought of something to say.

“No. I need to. I really need to thank you, Lawrence. You…did that for me? While you were alone recovering?”

“I wasn’t alone. I had Diana and Alison. You needed someone to help you and I thought I would do that…” There was a silent moment between them, where the air was hot and thick.

“They told me no one came to visit you.” Lawrence added softly, stepping a little closer to Adam. The younger felt his body slightly heat up from the close proximity and he stepped back on instinct. He shrugged in response. “I thought it was obvious I didn’t really have any family. The fucker from the bathroom had nothing to threaten me with anyway. Just my life. No family or anything.” He tried to smile through that sentence, but Lawrence’s furrowed brows and concerned expression got him to falter just a moment.

“I don’t understand that.” Lawrence said.

“Don’t understand what?”

“Don’t understand how someone can just drop someone else from their life so easily. Especially family. You really didn’t have anyone to talk to while you were living here?”

Adam felt his face grow hot, and his shoulder wound burned as he shrugged slightly. “Larry. Listen…I don’t really wanna talk about that right now okay?” He looked back up, a forced smile on his lips. “Just. Let’s go head out and talk about something…anything…else.”

They quietly made their way into the parking garage, and Adam had to force back a look of surprise at the nice car Lawrence unlocked and climbed rather ungracefully into.

A fucking BMW. Adam felt his excitement grow as he climbed into the passenger’s side, relaxing against the interior leather. Lawrence caught his awestruck expression and smiled almost slyly as he started the car and let the engine purr to life.

“Thanks. I was able to keep it in the divorce.” He said, making Adam shyly smile at him and avert his eyes.

“Sorry. I just…never have been in one of these. Although, me and my buddy Scott used to pretend to be interested in buying Ferrari’s and would take them for a test drive and then get the hell out of there.” Adam joked, which earned an earnest chuckle from the doctor.

For two men who, a month ago, were trapped in a shit and blood encrusted bathroom in a warehouse trying to survivor some fucked up game for a sadistic serial killer, they seemed to be pretty lax with each other. It was…nice.

A good change from the trauma, the fear and paranoia that Adam was so used to feeling. It was a nice change, and Adam hoped seeing Lawrence was a regular occurrence, though it was an empty wish.

Adam got comfortable in the BMW as Lawrence easily drove it out of the parking garage and headed down the street.

The car was silent for a bit, before the doctor spoke up to break the thick silence. “Say. I got a new apartment and was wondering if you could help me with something. I know you’re a photographer. How do you feel about getting me prints of landscapes to hang up in my place?” There was silence for a spell. “I mean. You don’t need to. I just thought I needed something to make the place for lively.”

Adam felt his heart skip, and he glanced over at Lawrence for a bit before biting at his lip and nodding slowly. “That…actually that sounds really swell.”

“I can pay you. 100$ a picture sound good?” Lawrence mumbled.

He choked. “Wh-what? 100 for each picture? How many did you want?”

“Maybe five or so. Not sure yet. My place looks really boring right now and it’s driving me up the fucking wall.”

Lawrence was desperately trying to fix the awkward debilitating silence between them, the ever looming knowledge that they met in unnatural circumstances…

“How about this?” Lawrence started, tapping his palms absently against the steering wheel as he turned on a side street and headed off in the opposite direction he was intending to go. “Why don’t you come by my place, look around and give me your critique? I’m never good at…art and shit. Kind of need a professional’s opinion.”

Adam’s heart fluttered and he had to hold back a smile. He turned away from the doctor to mask his flush. God what was going on with him? It was like he was on a date with this fucker. “I mean. I’m flattered you see me as a professional. But…why the hell not? Sounds good to me.” Sounds like a fucking date.

Lawrence nodded simply and smiled, glancing over at Adam. They met eyes for just a beat, but it was enough to calm Adam’s growing nerves. They had barely known each other, and yet here they were talking as if they were old friends meeting after a long time of not speaking. It was…surreal. But trauma and life or death situations did that to people. They brought people together who’d never even look at each other in a different circumstance.

It was at that moment that Adam remembered the bathroom. The feel of skin on skin, of hot breath blowing over his face as Lawrence hushed his cries and comforted his fears. As Adam clung to his shirt with everything he had, begging for the doctor to not leave him alone in that room. He felt his spine shiver and a cold sweat hit his body.

Now was not the time for a flashback. He needed to get a handle on himself before Lawrence noticed. He grabbed at the door of the car, using it as leverage while he tried to get his bearings. He took in a few solid breaths before he closed his eyes and willed the memories to go away. He was with Lawrence right now, safe, in his car. He wasn’t still on the bathroom tile, wasting away in the dark. He was okay.

Lawrence’s voice brought him out of his fog, and Adam looked up as the doctor parked in front of an apartment building. “We’re here.” He said almost cheerfully.

Adam blinked and tried to regain his composure before smiling over at the doctor and nodding. “Nice place. Beats my shithole.”

The doctor was caught off guard by the comment, and let out a chuckle before grabbing his cane and using it as leverage to help him out of the car. He glanced up at the apartment building and sighed to himself. It wasn’t as nice as his old place, but it was better than other places in L.A. He was glad the place came with an elevator.

“Here, let’s take the elevator and I’ll show you around my place.” Lawrence said, leading Adam to the front door, passing by the lobby and toward the elevators.


	3. Companionship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam thinks about Lawrence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a short chapter. I'm struggling with writer's block and I was never good at keeping up with a multi-chapter fic. Regardless, enjoy! I'm glad people like it as much as I hoped they would.
> 
> Trigger warnings for mentions of self harm in this chapter, with later NSFW.

It had been a week since Adam and Lawrence had reconnected. The two were together more than apart lately, but Adam didn’t mind. In fact, the kid liked having company. It helped keep his anxiety and trauma away. He felt himself getting so comfortable around Lawrence he could fall asleep around the doctor and wake up a couple hours later and notice he had not left his side since he first drifted off.

If this is what companionship was he fucking loved it, and wanted nothing more than to live like that every day.

 But, when the doctor was off working in his office at the hospital…sleeping was a whole different story.

Adam would wake thrashing, almost throwing his shoulder out from it, screaming and panting. Sometimes he would fall out of bed, smacking his head against the wood floor and just lay there with tears running down his cheeks. Sometimes he would snap his eyes awake and curl in on himself and sob.

The nightmares were relentless. They came in full force, vivid and graphic, loud and repeating through his head and out of his ears. He felt like a body of steam, getting hotter and hotter and filling with even more pressure.

He felt about to burst, but nothing would come and he all he could do was lie there and pray for it all to end.

Sometimes, when he was alone, his brain would convince him he was still in the bathroom of that warehouse, and that’s when he would start to lose it.

He remembers vividly how Lawrence came to visit him one day after work to Adam leaning over the side of the bathtub, bleeding profusely. He had dug his nails into his wrists and arms, drawing blood and scraping the skin red and raw.

He was clumsily helped up and brought into the kitchen, where Lawrence bandaged him up and set him in bed. They never spoke about it.

A month had passed since their first encounter after Adam was discharged from the hospital. Lawrence would invite Adam to his apartment to work on the décor, and Adam would invite the doctor over to his apartment to help bring light into the one bedroom apartment.

“Photography isn’t cutting out for me anymore” Adam said absently as he dangled his feet up against the wall at the head of his bed. He fiddled his fingers with the ties on his sweatpants and listened to Lawrence scribble notes away. The doctor was seated next to Adam in a chair, focused intently on his work from the hospital.

“Mmmm…” Lawrence mumbled in response, nibbling on the end of the pen cap that was nestled in between his teeth as he wrote something down on the paper.

Adam absently tied his sweatpants ties into a bow and then undid it as he started to talk. “Yea. I was thinking of maybe getting a job somewhere in an office. Entering data or some shit until I know what I wanna do with my life.”

Lawrence made a grunting noise, telling Adam know he had heard him.

“Could I put you down as a referral? I bet any place would pop a woody if they found out an oncologist recommended me for work.” Adam said as he gazed up at the ceiling.

A moment of silence as Lawrence capped his pen and set his folders aside.

“That only matters if you’re getting into medicine.” Lawrence said, uncrossing his legs carefully and propping his cane up against his weaker leg. “I could see you as a nurse. A _sarcastic_ one, but one regardless.”

Adam crinkled his nose at the slight jab, but didn’t reply to it.

“Medicine was never my thing. I just slept through my colds and anything worse than that I would take a fuck load of drugs and get through it.” Adam laughed slightly, though the look Lawrence gave him had his laugh dwindle down to a slight chuckle. Adam shrugged and turned around on the bed, sitting up and crossing his legs and letting his back lean against the wall he was just resting his legs on.

“I have to go.” Lawrence said, and it took a moment for Adam to realize a moment of silence cut through them and the doctor was already getting up with the help of his cane and had his bag packed with his files.

Adam forced a half smile and stood up slowly, nodding and helping the doctor get his footing. “Okay. When’s the next time we’ll meet up?”

The doctor couldn’t help but smile, and absently patted Adam on the good arm before opening the front door. “You have my number. Get a date and just text me or call me about it. I’m gonna be busy the next few days but I’ll try to get some free time.”

Adam felt his heart honestly flutter in his chest at that sentence, and a smile broke out on his face as he said goodbye and closed the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

  
Now, Adam had given his sexuality thought when he was in high school, but he never let it stray too far out of the straight category. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was scared.

His family wasn’t the most accepting group of people, and being raised around negative energy like that tends to affect you personally when you age.

When Lawrence left, Adam found himself laying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling in thought.

Did he like Lawrence? Of course, the man turned out to be his best friend. Although they meant under the worst of circumstances, they stayed friends and were almost inseparable. He guessed one positive thing could be taken from Jigsaw’s complete and utter disgusting ideals.

Now…did he love Lawrence? That was another question. It was one that stirred something deep in his gut, something that made his feet and hands tingle and his brain feel fuzzy in a good way. It made his heart race and his whole body almost vibrate with excitement.

Love was a strong word, but it was the only way to describe the feeling. It wasn’t like the feelings he got meeting women in bars or going on blind dates. That was purely a sexual feeling, which happened a lot when he was dating regularly in high school.

But this. This shit was different and special. This shit got his blood hot and his brain fuzzy. If this is what love felt like it was…fucking weird.

Before he knew it, Adam’s hand was down his pants. Lost in thought, his hand ran idly over his chest and stomach, exciting him further until his hand was brushing against the wiry hair of his crotch just above his member.

Finally realizing what he was doing sent his gut clenching and his mind reeling. But he didn’t stop as his finger traced himself underneath the band of his briefs. The cold fingertips excited him in some way, and he bit at his lip absently as he gripped the base a little bit harder than before.

The reaction to that attention made a smile break out on his lips. It hardened him just a bit, and it excited him enough to get into it.

He brought his hand back out of his briefs, hastily spit into his palm, and went back to work.

Now, he could think about anything. About his cute neighbor who went to grab the mail in her robe and messy hair, or the mail woman that delivered said mail every morning. But neither came to mind.

Instead, as he slowly worked himself into excitement, he thought about calloused yet precise hands working him through his briefs as he lay on his back in his bed. Those calloused hands were connected to a certain blonde haired blue eyed man. A man with a gaze that could melt hearts and apparently shed clothes (from what he’d taken pictures of in the past).

“ _Lawrence._ ”

The moan came out of nowhere, and Adam barely had time to stop it before it slipped past his slightly parted lips. But the name being moaned in the emptiness of his bedroom did nothing but excite him more.

And before he knew it, he was getting the tight feeling of an incoming orgasm. All from thinking about Lawrence. Lawrence with his lips stretched over his cock, sucking him down to the base and rubbing him in all of the right- Oh god.

He came into his hand, arching his back off of the bed and having to bite down on the back of his other hand to muffle the needy cry he let out.

He had made a mess of his briefs, and after slowly coming down from his high, he cursed to himself and rolled over onto his side to help slide the briefs off of his frame.

He let his head loll back as he tossed the briefs over the side of the bed, and closed his eyes a moment.

“What the _fuck_ was that…”


End file.
